I used to love fall, especially October.

October meant being cozy, whether snuggled at home bingewatching a murder mystery or drowning in an oversize sweater. As a lifelong nerd, the back-to-school vibe was also exciting, not to mention Halloween. Most people love the warmth and possibility of summer, but me? I’ve always been an autumn girl, happy when the sky is gray and there’s a slight chill in the air.

But this October feels different. And if you’re like me and came across the October Theory on TikTok, that might explain why this month feels off this year.

What is the October Theory?

According to TikTok, the October Theory draws October as a “second New Year.” The idea is simple: October marks the final quarter of the year, giving you 90 days to reset your goals, build new habits, and finish the year strong. It’s grounded in the “fresh start effect”, where temporal landmarks (like new seasons or months) motivate us to make changes in our lives.

The theory suggests that October is when people make major decisions like:

• starting (or ending) relationships
• switching jobs
• adopting fitness routines (I won’t lie – Hyrox has piqued my interest)

It all sounds inspiring, doesn’t it? October as a season of transformation. October as a possibility. This time last year (October 2024), I was solo travelling around Malta.

But this year, October seems like a dead end more than a gateway to new beginnings.

How Much Rest is Too Much Rest?

Here’s the thing about the October Theory: it assumes there’s something going in your life that you can change or improve. It assumes you’re in motion.

But what if you’re jobless? What if you just finished school and have no structure for the first time in years? What if your life isn’t hectic, it’s just…blank?

For the first time in a long time, I have nothing going on. No job to excel at, no classes to attend, no routine to follow. And while the October Theory encourages me to use this time to reset, it feels less like a fresh start and more like standing in an empty room, waiting for something to begin.

This theory works well when you’re burnt out, when you actually need to slow down and reflect. But what if you’ve already been in this slow period for a while? Then it starts to feel less like a time of rest and more like a spotlight on everything you’re not doing.

Trust the Process (Even When You Can’t See It)

Maybe someone else needs to hear this too, but this is what I’ve been telling myself almost daily: the best things happen when you least expect them.

Looking back at my life, almost every major milestone came out of nowhere. The career pivot I made three years ago? Unplanned. Quitting my job to pursue my master’s in Barcelona? A last-minute, but one of the best, decisions of my life. The friendships that my introvert self decided to invest in? Now my favourite people in the world.

Life, God, the universe – whatever you want to call it – has a funny way of working itself out. And maybe that’s the real October Theory we should be talking about; not the one where you transform before the end of the year, but the one where you trust that something better is coming and learn to sit in the discomfort of the unknown.

Easier said than done, I know. I’m a horribly impatient person, so not having anything to do takes a huge toll on my mental heatlh. Especially when people my age seem to have their life together. As my younger brother says, I’m “pushing 30” so this isn’t a cute look anymore. To this I say:

1. I just turned 27
2. Don’t be mean to me, I’m already feeling vulnerable

But here’s the thing: this is temporary, and I know it is. This limbo, this waiting, won’t last forever, even when it feels like it will. I – we – just need to keep reminding ourselves that.

Gen Z? More like Gen D(espair)

One of the best parts of the internet is realizing you can relate to people from across the world. While my social media is full of career promotions, weddings, travels, and all kinds of positive life milestones, there’s another side that I’ve been seeing more frequently. It seems many Gen Z feel directionless and stuck. The lifestyle videos that resonate the most with me aren’t the happy ones, they’re the ones where someone says, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” and all the comments agree.

It’s not just online, either. 90% of my real life friends are also stressed out. They’re questioning their jobs, their relationships, their entire life trajectory. They either want to:

• move to Europe to get their master’s (me, cerca 2024)
• quit everything, throw their phones in the ocean, and live on a farm (understandable)

There’s this shared feeling of despair hanging over our generation, and as sad as that is, I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling it.

The Upside of the Lull (Yes, There is One)

It’s a mental exercise to turn the negative into something positive, but I’m trying. Because as uncomfortable as this period is, there’s also something rare about it.

How often in life do we get to just be? No deadlines, no obligations, no one demanding our time. Being busy has been ingrained in us because of the capitalist society we live in, but that’s exactly why we have to value this gray zone, as hard as it may be.

When our worth is, unfortunately, tied to our output, I’m grateful to temporarily step back from the rat race. This is my time to rediscover my interests. Here’s what that looks like these days:

• starting to read again
• catching up on my shows
• reviving this blog (2 posts in a month, woohoo!)
• upskilling and improving my portfolio 
• doomscrolling on social media 

Yes, it’s uncomfortable and scary not having a daily schedule. I hate holding myself back from travelling or shopping because of financial instability. But maybe this lull is preparing me, and you, for what’s coming. Maybe next year we’ll look back on this October and realize it was actually what we needed.

A Different Kind of October Theory

So here’s my version of the October Theory, for those of us who aren’t glowing up or thriving:

October can be the month where you’re just kind to yourself. Where you trust that your life is unfolding exactly as it should, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

This October, maybe the transformation isn’t external. Maybe it’s internal. Maybe it’s learning to sit with uncertainty and to be patient with yourself.

I don’t know what life will bring me in the last two weeks of October. But I do know that this feeling, like everything, will pass.