“If it’s just you alone, you’re not as much of a threat [than if you had support]” – Luna Lovegood, The Order of the Phoenix

As much as I would like to think I am self-reliant and can fend for myself, unfortunately, that’s not true. There are definitely times where I’m brimming with confidence and think myself capable of achieving anything I put my mind to…but what goes up must come down. Alternatively, there are also times where I am riddled with self-doubt and negative thoughts. Both of these feelings are completely normal. In fact, if you experience only one of these states, that’s a cause of concern.

When you’re experiencing the first of these two feelings, the obvious thing to do is ride on that wave. Keep imagining the lengths you can reach, write down your ideas so nothing escapes you, be EXCITED about the opportunities life has to offer!

But what do you do during times of self-doubt?

During this trying period, it can be incredibly difficult to bring yourself out of that slump, especially if there are other underlying issues compounding the situation, like depression and anxiety. In this case, of course professional help will be more beneficial than anything else and should be your number one resource. However, if it’s just a regular slump, a crash after your previous high of self-confidence, then you can do without therapy. Instead, one vital remedy for this situation is a support system.

When I say support system, I don’t necessarily mean a large group of your best friends who have been with you for years and years and through thick and thin—I mean a close connection doesn’t depend on how long you’ve known someone. By support system, I mean even one person that you enjoy talking to, that you know cheers you up, and that, most importantly, believes in you.

This is a support system. Whether it’s a parent, your significant other, a mentor, a friend, a sibling, anyone that has a positive presence in your life.

Talk to these people! Let them know what’s been on your mind or the cause of your stress. Since this person genuinely cares about you, they’ll say just the right things. They will reinforce your potential in you and remind you of your goodness even when you don’t see it for yourself. During times of internal conflict, your support system should be your go-to. It can be difficult to be vulnerable even in front of someone like that, but it’s necessary to get out of that hole of self-pity.

If you’ve read all this and have someone in mind who is:

• Positive
• Caring
• Supportive
• Trustworthy

Congratulations, you know who your support system is. For people who don’t have someone like this in their real lives, the internet can be a wonderful tool. Online support forums and online friends can provide that little bit of a push you may need to keep going. Either way, the importance of having a stable support system is vital for our wellbeing! 

And most importantly, we have to be able to give in order to take. We should strive to form relationships with people who not only we can reach out to, but present ourselves so they can feel comfortable talking to us. It goes both ways!